Change

I've been looking ahead to the future, thinking about the past, and trying to live in the present all at once. I've discovered I can't split my mind into 3 facets. So I've resorted to allowing my mind to go into a great big mess of all three, spinning around at 100mph.

At the end of every year one goes through introspection. For the student the end of the year isn't December, but rather May. I'm coming up on the end of my first year of college, which in itself is different to think about. In this year I have changed and grew more than I thought I ever could. There I was at the beginning, naively thinking I had done all my growing up. How wrong I was. I am finding who I really am. You can't learn that in high school. There are too many crutches, too many things you can fall back on, to lean on. In college you are on your own. I fell many a times this year, but never failed to look back and learn from it all. I have found my niche, my rhythm, my needs, and my true independence. I have always been independent, but here it was tested. I would like to think I got an "A" in that course.

The end of the year makes me realize how fluid life is. My friends that are seniors are entering the work world, a new stage of independence and growth, which reminds me how close behind I am to them. Now comes a new process for me: keeping these friendships, and thinking more about what the hell I'm going to do when I get out of Earlham.

Change. Nothing is stagnant.

"When your deepest thoughts are broken/
keep on dreaming boy/
because when you stop dreaming/
you know it's time to die."
-"Change" Blind Melon